jbird

Today, I am most thankful for all those who have kept me in their prayers for this trip. I am also thankful for hot&clean water, paved roads, a sturdy roof over my head, prunes, and of course, Jesus! (: 

This year’s TG was definitely out of the ordinary. It started with the Fire Fragrance team (my group) waking up and getting ready to go to the National Palace at 4AM for our Truth Siege. We stood by the gate for an hour just praying and interceding, asking God to forgive and renew the government and the nation. It’s been rumored that human sacrifices have been made in the Palace. It’s crazy how major voodoo is here. I’m kinda surprised at myself..didn’t know I had it in me to get up at 4AM to pray for an hour. All by the grace of God and for His glory, yeah? (:

I FINALLY had bowel movements today. TWICE. Hahah, okay too much information but PRAISE GOD. I also had my first Haitian “street” food this morning for breakfast, padtays (sp?). They’re hard boiled eggs and onions wrapped in flour then tossed in hot oil to fry. We were waiting in line for the woman to cook up padtays for us and I was telling the boys how I hadn’t been to the bathroom since I got to Haiti…so right then and there, they laid their hands on my stomach and prayed that I would go today HAHAH. I love these people. 

Since it’s TG we spent all day in the house. I walked down the street to get some cola and some more torooooo. It really is addicting, yikesss! It’s been so hectic today because a lot of the people here wanted an almost genuine TG, as real as we could make it haha, so we’ve been baking and cooking. I made a carrot cake and helped cut up Haitian sweet potatoes which was pretty much the equivalent to chopping wood. We had chicken (of which our staff had to cut off the head! HAHA), mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, fruit salad, beer bread, green bean casserole, brownies, cakes, and rice krispies treats! AMAZINGGG. 

We’re all just chilling now. I’m super homesick today. It sucks so much I’m hoping I’ll fall asleep quickly tonight so I don’t have to deal with this heartache for the rest of the night hahahaha ahhh. 

I wonder how things will be when I get back home. 

Sometimes I feel like I just got to Haiti and sometimes I feel like I’ve been here forever. Last night I was so sad and homesick I prayed to dream about friends and waddayano..I had a dream that a couple of us were back at home in some diner and I was ordering a strawberry shortcake! How great that would be hehe

Today was my “chill” day. This morning I went to an orphanage named New Life that one of the guys here grew up in. His name is Wyclef! His brother is still at the orphanage. They have kids as little as newborn babies to as old as 21 year olds. We didn’t get to play with all of the kids because the 1st-6th graders were in class and the older ones were at school off campus. This place was so big and in a much better condition than the first one I went to.

We played with the babies and the handicapped children while we were there. It’s truly amazing and so encouraging to see these kids. You wouldn’t believe how much joy they have in their faces. The children are either physically handicapped, mentally handicapped, or both but that didn’t stop them from reaching out to us and immediately welcoming us. Gahhh, I can’t even explain or describe how great their smiles and laughter were. How the Lord delights in each and every one of His children. I got to play with these two babies who were named John and Kevin! HAHA. Reminded me of Big Meech and Klee (:

God bless the staff and women who take care of these children.

My original team went to the tent city we went to yesterday. I decided to stay back and pray for a bit (then I passed out. Whooops! heheee. But if it counts for anything, I fell asleep praising in my head and woke up praising in my head. Interesting). They came back and shared what happened and I kinda regret not going.

They distributed the 50 tents they have to those we met with yesterday. Some people expressed how thankful they are that the team went out to them and set up tents for them instead of them having to stand in line somewhere and wait for supplies. They said today was the first day since January 12 that anyone has come out to them and has reached out to them in prayer. Apparently all the other organizations are too afraid to go to this tent city, which is really odd because neither I nor my team felt threatened walking through this TC. Some figured that this TC was helped out the most because it’s right across the street from the National Palace.

This kinda shook me..the fact that these people were so much more thankful to have someone come out and pray for them. I am constantly reminded of how small I am. My dreams of being rich so that I can physically and financially support not just my family but for people all over the world who are in need seems so insignificant now. I mean, not that I don’t want to do that anymore but it just puts me in my place. Prayer and what God can do for us goes so much farther than me just pouring my money into a city. Money only goes so far.

Given my financial situations I know how much it sucks to not have enough or to have to work extra hard just to get by. I will never forget the struggles my family has been through/goes through so that I can empathize with those around me. Of course, my struggles are NOTHING compared to the things the Haitians have been through/are going through. I feel so bougie here, it’s terrible. I have no right to complain about my struggles and/or deprivations because I have so much more than some of these people can even imagine. But how much more blessings will come outta their situations. I know God will provide so much for these people and it’s gonna be even crazier to see how great his power is!

okay…it’s DANCE TIME. AHAHAHAH CRAZY. chill day forreal because TOMORROW IS THANKSGIVINGGGGGGG. A Haitian Thanksgiving! It’s gonna be an unforgettable one fasho (:

i’m so bored right now. i’ve had too much caffeine so i cannot sleep and i have no friends to talk to haha so i will tumblrrr!

happy: huddle formation by the go! team, better than her by matisse
sad: all we do is say goodbye - john mayer
bored: anything and everything. nicki minaj, club music, whatever my 2010 playlist has
hyped: teach me how to dougie…? idk. these are hard.
mad: biggieeee. gah this was such a stupid question. bahaha i’m maaaaaaaaaaAd. bye.

before my trip to haiti, a friend of mine sent me an email quoting her friend’s xanga entry. i just wanna share it in case anyone EVER feels like i was or is feeling that way now. i was struggling so much just days before going to haiti because of my sins and weaknesses and this just helped me so much. i’m so imperfect but my worth is determined by God. i’m such a big sinner and i can’t say that i’ll even be fully “turned around” when i get home from haiti. baby steps though. you can’t turn back once you’ve found the truth, right? thanks, aroh! <3

How Heaven Sees You

Judges 6:11b-12 - Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites.  When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”

Gideon was a farmer who feared the nation of the Midianites so much that he hid in a winepress when he threshed his grain.  He had an inferiority complex to the point that he believed he wasn’t just the weakest of his family, but that he was the weakest of his entire tribe.  And yet when the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, hiding in the winepress, the angel greeted him with, “The Lord is with you mighty warrior.”

Here in the kingdom of earth you are called a mighty warrior after you’ve fought and won many battles.  But in the kingdom of heaven you are called a mighty warrior before you’ve done anything.  We have to understand that the true reality is heaven.  God is eternal.  Our lives here are momentary.  Nations and people come and go here on earth, but heaven continues forever.  God knew you before time.  He knows you now.  And He knows you forever.  He knows your past.  He knows your future.  He knows who you truly are.  If I knew Michael Jordan when Michael Jordan was seven years old and told him, “You are a basketball champion.  You are the greatest player to play the game,” people would have laughed at me.  But we now know who Michael Jordan is and that he truly is a basketball champion.  His high school coach cut him from the varsity level team.  His high school coach didn’t see a basketball champion in Michael Jordan then.  But now he does.  The world has yet to see the real you.  Only God and those led by the Spirit can see.  We have to trust that God knows better.

We can’t form our identity around what we are doing right now.  We have to form our identity by who heaven says we are.  Gideon was a farmer.  He formed his identity around being a farmer and being just another person in the crowd.  But heaven saw a mighty warrior, a judge for the nation of Israel.  You likely see yourself right now as a student, a teacher, an office worker, or whatever job you might have.  But how does heaven see you?

Today we went out to a tent city across the street from the National Palace. You wouldn’t believe the conditions they are in. Some are barely covering the space and some other people sleep straight up on stones. The tent city is built upon what used to be a park. The statue in the middle is wrapped in rope to hold up some of the tents. Little children fill every corner of the place. They’re so beautiful and full of life! It breaks my heart the things they have to endure. Some were playing with condoms in their mouths and I was just speechless. They filled the condoms with water (water that had killed about 7 people in the tent city) and were playing with them. I saw some wrappers on the ground and I can only hope that the condoms they play with are at least new and untouched…but who knows.

We prayed for a woman whose leg had been injured during the earthquake and after our prayer she said she felt better! Praise God! We also prayed for a prostitute. Man, I was so overcome with sadness I could barely focus on praying. She said men will come and tell her they’d give her $1 for her body, take her away, pretty much rape her, then not pay her. Today she accepted Jesus as her savior so Praise God for that!

I seriously couldn’t stop crying for a bit and I HATE crying in front of people but I could just feel how God’s heart breaks for these people (or at least a percentage of it). I kept feeling a little discouraged here and there because who am I to come into their homes for a couple of minutes and pray for them when I have such little faith myself. But I came to realize that even though I’m so weak, it’s not by my strength that these people are healed or comforted. It is through God’s love and grace. A pastor within the tent city was saying that he felt unworthy to reach out to the people because he was living with a woman who was not his wife (they’re to be married in December). But God doesn’t ask us to be perfect. I’m no prayer warrior but even faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. It’s not by chance or mistake that I am here in Haiti. I fully believe that no matter how broken or unworthy I think I am, God has a reason and a job for me here in Haiti and who am I to disobey His call? After praying for Patrick, the pastor, you could see his whole attitude had changed. He has such a great smile!

I hope some of this made sense. My thoughts are so unorganized right now. I’m just spitting out whatever I could remember from today.

Man, and Lord be with Both North and South Korea. This world is turning cuhrazy.
Please pray that American Airlines will continue to fly in Haiti on Sunday! I want to go home ): HAHA. Well, I want to go home on time! (:

Miss you all!

I’m using a community laptop, yay!

Touched down in Haiti Friday afternoon at 1:00PM but didn’t get out of the airport until 1:50PM ish. Customs took foreverrrr and then it took me forever to find my bag. My ears were super popped and my sore throat was still killing me, but all of that kinda disappeared for a second when I saw the beautiful sea and islanddd! The mountains are GORGEOUS here. I fell in love immediately.

Two YWAM girls came and picked me up after I made my way through the Haitian crowd. Thank God I grew up in Philly and Cheltenham HAHA. I learned at an early age to keep looking straight ahead with confidence and act like you know what you’re doing and where you’re going. These people were tryna get me to pay them money or take me places or carry my bags hahaha. Luckily these girls found me because I was looking for an Asian face when these two Caucasian faces approached me..then they took me to a car wash that lasted TWO HOURS HOLY SMOKES. Everything in Haiti is SLOW. I passed out for those two hours (and throughout the whole plane ride), you know me.

I got super sick..like worse than I had been when at home so there was a lot of prayer (and continue to be a lot) over me. So basically I slept for the first day and a half I had been in Haiti. Got to the base and couldn’t eat any of my food because I thought I was going to up chuck it ha, so I slept through dinner. Then I couldn’t even eat dinner so I went to sleep until the next day. -_- But sleeping here is amazing! We have a mattress which is so much better than sleeping on the hard tile and the mosquito nets are like canopies. I fall asleep literally under the moon and stars and wake up to the sun in my fayceee. I feel like an Arabian princess or something. It’s seriously AMAZINGGGG.

BUTTTT SO FAR (BEFORE THIS LAPTOP DIES!) I’ve been at an orphanage (almost burst into tears when I got there!) and it was greattt! There was a little girl who tapped my arm and I turned around to see this beautiful face and big bright eyes looking up at me. She’s so precious..and her name is Madeline! I’ve always wanted to name my daughter that! But then I learned she’s not one of the orphans…HAHAH so cute though stilll (:

Poverty is everywhereee. One of the men running for president was given the job of cleaning up the streets and trash..this dude has yet to start it seems. There are piles and piles of trash EVERYWHERE. Tent cities have been built anywhere and everywhere. Where national parks once were, now resides hundreds of homeless people in these tents.

We drove by the National Palace and you could tell how beautiful it was when it was standing. I heard there was a sacrifice of 13 virgins in that building or where the building stands. Voodoo is so prevalent here. Sometimes at night you can hear people a couple of houses down doing voodoo chants. Jesus, save these people!

On Sunday I went up into the mountains. Longest ride everrrr on what the Haitians call a “dap dap” or “tahp tahp?” It’s their means of public transportation but we got to use this for ourselves. Up on the mountain is the Mocel Resort, which the owner here of YWAM Port-au-Prince wants to buy. This place was amazinggg! You don’t even feel like you’re in Haiti. We were given a tour of the place and then served a hot meal! It’s freezing up in the mountains! I wish I took a picture of the food but I was so hungry I had already eaten half of my plate before I thought of that. On the way back down the mountain I got to ride on the back of the dap dap (and now I have a huge bruise on my knee and sore arms/shoulders/back from holding on for dear life..but I LOVE IT) and the view was INCREDIBLE. Haiti is so beautiful. It has so much potential and God will do so much for it, I know it!

Last night was crazy though. It was around 3 AM and I heard a huge exploding sound. I honestly thought it was thunder because it sounded like it was raining so I tried to go back to sleep. Seconds later I hear a girl yell “GIRLS, GET UP AND GET INSIDE!” and she bolts on outta there. I got up with the quickness out from under my mosquito net and I’m scrambling all confused. Outside I see huge flames and I don’t know whether we’ve been attacked or if something caught on fire. It turns out an electrical wire fell onto our bus and the bus caught on fire. $62,000 down the drain, but thank God no one was hurt. I was terrified thinking that I might die and not be able to tell all my friends/families what had happened HAHA. All the girls were upstairs and gathered in prayer as the men downstairs tried to take out the fire. The enemy is definitely threatened by us being here. Praise God for He protects and knows all that is happening even when we are sleeping.

Friends, Please Please PLEASE keep us in our prayers. We are here for Haiti, our brothers and sisters, and nothing is stronger than the power of God and the will of God. God is truly amazing even through such a loss. It’s better that it happened at night instead of while we were outside waiting to get on the bus or when the neighborhood kids are running about. Praise God FORREAL.

Okay, it’s corporate worship time. Miss you all, friends!! I think about you all every night! (: <3

i started wearing my seat belt. my accident shook me up i suppose. i also haven’t been getting drunk/wasted or even buzzed! it’s been almost 2 months. self-control babyyyy

“…and trust in the Jehovah-jireh tatted on my arm.”

the Lord put it on my heart to go to haiti when i only had $10 in my bank account. I asked for the funds to go on this journey and now i’m covered for the whole trip. Praise God! I mean, of course He wasn’t going to tell me to go and then not get me there (: thank You! <3